To the glory days in another 30 years.
as brilliant as a man needs to experience, after forty transformation process.
life is to face the problem and a problem-solving process. Question the wisdom inspire us to inspire our courage; problem is our success and failure of the watershed.
self-discipline is the primary tool to solve the problems of life, but also an important means of eliminating the pain of life.
mainly in the following four principles that we need to perform:
delayed gratification, responsibility, respect the facts, to maintain balance.
First, delayed gratification
delayed gratification, which means do not seek the comfort of being re-set the order of pleasure and pain of life: first, to face the problem and feel the pain; then to solve problems and enjoy greater happiness, this is a viable way of life.
many people can not devote their time and effort to address knowledge, social and psychological problems.
and those who lack patience and want to solve the problem immediately than attitude. Another approach is more low-level problem-solving, and more destructive, it is hoped that the issue go away.
everyone has this tendency: the problem occur, we must immediately solve, or they will upset thoughts, spook, this attitude is clearly unrealistic, but wishfully waiting for problems to go away, it species is more terrible state of mind, usually will not bring any good results.
ignore the problem. We do not want to reflect the delayed access to the psychological satisfaction. I said: facing the problem will make people feel pain. Problems are usually not go away, if not resolved, will always exist, impeding the mature mind.
we have such experience: the problem comes, will bring the pain of different levels of experience. Face them as early as possible, which means delayed gratification, give up temporarily ease the pain and to a lesser extent, the level of experience more pain, and so will be rewarded. Now bear the pain, greater satisfaction can be obtained in future; not seek to solve the problem, the pain will be greater in future to extend the time longer.
Second, faced with the problem and take responsibility
If you can not resolve the problems of life, they will lie like a mountain in front of us.
which many people apparently ignored the truth. We must face the problems of their own, which is the basic premise to solve the problem.
less to avoid the fear that The only way - we should be brave enough to say: , is not I but someone else's cause. is someone drag me, but I can not control the social factors, should be for me by someone else or society to solve. This is not my personal problem. Lee avoid hurting, evading responsibility, this psychological tendency is regrettable, and sometimes even up to ridiculous levels.
almost everyone suffers from varying degrees of neurosis or personality disorders. Life I, the correct assessment of their role, why determine the who, what responsibility is our responsibility, but also can not escape the problem. Assessment of attribution of responsibility, must make us feel pain. Resulting in avoidance tendency. Starting from the heart to make trade-offs, the parties shall be self-reflection, in which pain and suffering, so many people stay away. Indolent obviously is human nature. In a sense, all the children suffering from personality disorders, will instinctively avoid punishment.
face the problem to come forward, otherwise they will always exist, patients with personality disorders, a complete departure from this practice, can not help but put the blame on the spouse,UGG boots clearance, children, friends, parents, boss, or onto other abstract things - bring a They shirk responsibility. May feel comfortable and happy, but the mind is not mature, and often become a collective, social burden.
Everyone has a tendency to shirk responsibility. Even if it is a subtle way of escape. How to arrange a time that I should be responsible, and only I should have a right to deal with priorities. My burden is not the cruelty of occupation dictates, not the result of fate, nor is it cruel to force your boss, this is the way I choose. Problem is I do not have time to change ways of working. Through all of this, my situation had changed.
responsibility to stay away from the pain. Countless people are willing to give up power, but in reality is trying to avoid free. They all face a common problem - feel that they can not 'deal' or change the status quo, resulting in fear, helplessness and self-doubt.
powerless source, is that they always want to escape their problems can not be, responsible for their lives. They feel weak, that they give up their power.
Third, respect the facts, continue to draw the revised map
respect the facts of life, meaning accurately perceive reality, to prevent false, as false and the facts are diametrically opposed. The more we know the facts, deal with the problem the more handy; the less understanding of reality, thinking the more confusion.
false, delusions and hallucinations, can let us know what to do. Our concept of reality is like a map, with this map, we work with life topography, continuous coordination and negotiation. The map is accurate, we can determine their position and know where to go and how to get there; map full of loopholes. We will be lost.
The reason is obvious, but most people still ignore the facts. Leads to the fact that the road is not flat, we are born, not with a map to the world. In order to smooth the road journey in life, we need to draw the map, obviously this effort.
our efforts to the greater understanding of the facts more clearly, the higher the accuracy of the map.
know quite a few who are not seized the fact that lack of interest. Some people after puberty, to give up maps. They map the original narrow, fuzzy, rough, narrow and understanding of the world radical. Most people have a middle-aged to perfection from that map, and the world without any flaws, and they even thought sacrosanct, and information for new information, they do not have much interest, appears to have tired. Only a handful of wise men can keep up, they keep to explore,UGG shoes, expand and update their knowledge of the world until the end of life.
difficult to draw the map of life, not that we need to start from scratch, but only have been amended in order to make informative and accurate maps. Changing world. Tip to the iceberg and then subsided; culture emerged, culture disappears; Technology Co., technology seems limitless ... ... we see the world point of view, but also in the updating and adjustment. We have weak, dependent strong child, a little bit to grow strong and dependent adults by others; we are sick or aging, the strength disappear again, we become weak and more dependent.
married and having children will change our world view. Long the child from infancy to adolescence, our mood will change.
we were poor, the world is like; we are rich, the way the world is another.
around new information every day, to absorb them, the map will continue to be revised. Enough new information accumulated a mountain. We even had to make large-scale revision of the map, which makes revision more and more difficult, and sometimes gives us more pain, which is the root of many psychological disorders.
life is short, we just want smooth sailing. We are the children grow into young, middle-aged and even elderly, to pay unremitting efforts, the achievements of the life and world view of the map, it seems perfect in all aspects. Once the new information and concept of the past conflict, the need for substantial amendments to the map, we will feel fear. Would rather turn a blind eye on the new information. Our attitude has become very strange - not just a passive resistance to new information, new information or even accused of confusing right and wrong, that they are heresy, from the forces of evil. We want to control everything around to make it fully consistent with our maps. We spend a lot of time and effort (much more than the revised map itself), to defend outdated and outworn ideas, but not to consider how to update the old maps, this is how sad thing ah.
Empathy:
outdated maps too conservative, out of touch with reality, this is a common problem many people. Stick to outdated ideas, indifference to reality, constitutes the root of many mental illnesses, such cases, psychologists call No exaggeration to say that the number of psychologists, there is much on the definition of empathy, and my definition is: to produce in childhood. And seems to have applied the concept of reality and the response (which usually has a special significance, even with the importance of life-saving), does not properly transferred to the adult world, this is the psychological
timely amendment of life map of how to do?
escape the pain and misfortune, is human nature that only through self-discipline. To gradually overcome the pain of reality. We must respect the fact that, though it will bring pain, but far more of our personal interests and comfort of being more important. We must not dilute the sense of temporary and should be the pursuit of truth rather than illusion, and are willing to bear all the pain. Let the soul to grow, to mature mind, we should make every effort to always respect the facts, and even sacrifice the truth.
challenge what it means devotion to the truth? means we have to self-examination. We own the contact with the outside world to understand the world. We must not only observe the world itself, but also the subject of observing the world (our own) for reflection.
man as man, is that we have a special With the progress of science and civilization, our old attitudes seem to change, we realize that self-reflection and self-examination, is essential for our survival. Reflect the inner world of pain, often greater than the pain of observing the outside world,Bailey UGG boots, so many people to avoid the former and the latter. In fact, willing to sacrifice the truth for our exceptional value, grow up, the pain will seem insignificant. The joy of self-reflection, or even far greater than the pain.
dedicated to truth, means that those who dare to accept the other graphic - questioning and challenging the outside world, which conform with the facts to determine whether the map. Otherwise, we will live in a closed system - like a single room cell, we Revised map of the pain, making it easier to run away, do not allow others questioned the effectiveness of our map.
conservative, to avoid challenges, can be said that one of the basic characteristics of human nature. No matter what changes
reality, we have the ability to self-regulation. Challenge is a human instinct to escape, but does not mean that it is appropriate attitude, does not mean we can not make change.
whether individuals or organizations, claiming that dare to question and challenge accepted, they must undergo rigorous review maps, so respect the fact that the person dedicated to the truth. Necessarily big heart, to treat people. We must constantly ask ourselves, in the words and actions to ensure that we communicate with others freely and honestly reflect the perception of reality.
honesty may bring pain. People lie, is challenged to escape the pain. Challenges brought about by the normal fear of pain. Thus continue to evade and lie, the same is intended to avoid the pain of benefit, which may have a corresponding mental illness.
order to avoid, people will select a variety of shortcuts. We want to overcome difficulties, to more quickly achieve our goal, always want to select the easier and faster way, this is the so-called No doubt, as normal, we all want their own progress faster, I hope a shortcut through the rational, to achieve mental maturity, but do not forget:
who is constantly making the same mistakes, unless you brake , unless you change or so around, turn my life, and now scientific proof that all of the tracks are round, you see the tree rings is round, the light is not Einstein tell us straight away, the light is curved into the , we can see that a line is incredible, it is incredible, the reason is straight, the road will always be bent, you have to achieve the goal, you go straight roads are often not achieve the purpose, because he has always been a winding nature , this river slowly winding stream, you have a slow flow of water is available, you see the mountains did not say straight, (not) who you can not climb it so crooked, you crawl slowly climbing, making a turn up, and you have the opportunity to go to the seaside to see if the sea level is not flat, definitely not flat, these words in the It is clear that is called Level, but the waves up and down, once the level is called stagnant water, stagnant water that fish can not feed, water inside the fish because he can move the above, there is nothing under the sun is flat.
key word is In fact, we tend to ignore the reasonable shortcut, and the search
cheater face presented to the world, will become an illusion and deception, rather than a reflection of the real situation. Therefore, they need more, keep lying and cover to protect the illusion of being exposed.
no hammer and nails, there still may be starting to build a house, but the whole process is usually inefficient and unsatisfactory, and few if any craftsman or carpenter, as a hammer and nails and have to rely on their abnormal disappointed. Similarly, a person of mature mind, even if do not understand the psychological knowledge, but also can achieve, but the whole process may be tedious, long and tortuous and difficult. Therefore, the use of effective tools to grow as a shortcut, is entirely reasonable choice.
psychology tells us: people not only lie to others, also lying to myself. But conscience to remind us not to lie, which makes us feel the pain. Violation of conscience and self-deception, the resulting countless lies, the most common and most damaging situation.
lies to conceal the truth is usually divided into two types: white lies and black lies.
so-called black lie, that is, to lie outright, describing the situation is completely incompatible with reality;
the so-called white lies, which itself may reflect the fact that most of it intended to conceal the truth. To be known as And through and as serious as lying. Cover part of the story may make people feel insignificant, white lies which have become the most common way of lying. In addition, because the white lie is not easy to detect. The harm, or even far more than a black lie.
different and black lies, white lies are often considered to be lies, wearing a Although we complain about the lack of good faith between income and the income.
who want to enter the field of political and corporate executives who, the restriction to express personal views, is also extremely important. Outspoken person who can easily be considered a defiant boss, or even be regarded as If you want the organization or group to play a greater role, but also need to focus on the time of expression, places and manner. To be consistent with the collective needs of members, their views must be put under control, and not arbitrary. In other words, a person should have the option to express their views and ideas. Of course, out of loyalty to the fact that in mind, we are also eager to direct expression of the poet, not secretive, which makes us in a dilemma:
one hand, we worry about loose lips;
On the other hand, we do not want to violate the principles of honesty and fairness, and in between the two, almost no room to maneuver, it is difficult to achieve ideal balance, it is indeed difficult challenge.
IV
of balance here, Western psychology to the equilibrium in the study gave no specific answer, while the I Ching yet we can do near-perfect balance;
so-called yin and yang, but not flush, do not move together flat, fixed for no change, no change to death, the society if there is no contradiction, since humans can not change, just can not afford to change, you die.
no contradiction there is no change, no change there would be no development. - Zeng Shiqiang
you see the water if they do not move, even the fish are dead, the water is become, the fish will support it to,
stand the test of time This is called wisdom.
principle of maintaining the status quo
change is instinct,UGG boots, Innovation and change is human nature, is reflected in the technology inventions, political reform, clothing is the trend business model innovation is the new profit.
there must be a change often, because it is relative, variable if yang is often overcast, it is inseparable from Tai Chi. You see a lot of people say that things change, and then he began to complain, they begin to feel that I, gone, you're wrong.
there is constant change in, change is the phenomenon behind there must be the same. Many people say that things change. In fact, the world is uncertain how could it? Everything has a certain context, there are certain rules, are available through reasoning. If management is pushing even unreasonable, and that people can not live.
changes of the two are combined together, are inseparable, there is no change, where there is a change? Not changed, where there are the same?
We are able to feel at ease, that is, we know that some things will not change. Today, at least you know where to sleep, you have to go.
unchanged.
no matter how the universe changed, it is the universe, it does not change.
from the time point of view, I have a past, present, have a future.
the past is clearly the same.
you can not change their background, past experience can not change, there is school, work, love, marry. Pain, joy, joys and sorrows.
so the past is the same.
so the past is past it, do not care about gain and loss, regret is useless.
is now beyond our grasp, but now is the most troublesome. Variable may change, a change in a constant, has become also the same, the biggest test of life is now.
Now, that is, the intersection of past and future.
all future also are among the ever-changing, so it is the uncertainty, the so-called Life is unpredictable, think the future is very difficult to grasp.
I would be much longer, how will the marriage? How will the cause?
most important thing is the future, it is changing, put on today is not easy to grasp and predict the future is to rely on today to grasp, but today I know what is variable, which is unchanged .
changed is you now have.
and grasp how to predict their own future?
are simple and easy in the Book of Changes, Change, is not easy.
easy to understand: we see anything else convenient, easy to operate, such as chopsticks, do not complicate it features.
understanding variation:
law.
difficult to understand;
Tai Chi is all things, all things are Tai Chi. Tai Chi, there is a yin yang, yin is not easy, and we often call it, the philosophy known as ontology; Yang is the variation, that is uncertain, the phenomenon is called philosophy. Body never changed, the phenomenon is rapidly changing. However, people tend to believe his own eyes, just believe that they see things, but we did not see the same thing is constant, and the eyes can see things are very limited, a lot of things we can not see. How can we deny their own eyes can not see things?
we see is illusion, the truth is always invisible. Illusion that those things come and go, but the truth is that ontology is real, it is being built on things. Tai Chi is to be changed so have the same. Some understanding of Tai Chi is a part of the change, some change is in fact not the case. Tai Chi is a variable with the same exist, and you see it changed, it does not seem to change. You see it has not changed, as if they are changing. There are constant changes, constant changes in, called a yin yang, yin in yang.
not a thing in the world is flat, straight out of the concept is the virtual. But now we have cut the total mind the concept of right and good always like to separate the point of view, this bad. We have to understand, things are also good are bad, people are also good are bad, and sometimes become the good, sometimes it becomes evil. We could not find a pure and, because such people can not live; we can not find a pure evil, because people simply can not tolerate him. Therefore, the pure and can not contain themselves, other people can not contain your pure evil. It tells us that there are two channel universe, a man named Chang Road, a name very road. Road is not often said, whatever you put out, it is not often Road, only a very road only.
I believe that all you can say the truth, very Avenue, then the regular channel, what exactly is it? What is often
Road? Today the words with the science, called the absolute universe, the universe is absolutely Park. Park on behalf of successful, it is the ideal state. Park on a missing right away you know, on the park it started missing the moment. So people trying to find fault with their demand is successful, but you can not not ask. Therefore, Confucius then said, Qufahushang, was almost one.
who have ideals, but the ideal can never be achieved, but you can not give up, you still have to do labor, and finally listen to fate. Do not know, Absolute space is the
only have one hundred percent to the absolute state of public things, so once we are born into this earth once human, we must consciousness, we can only relative freedom can only be relatively equal, we can only enjoy relatively light, there must be the dark side. No matter what your ideal state of Plato Ye Hao, Tao of paradise on both mean impossible. We now say we can have absolute freedom, only one answer, unless you are dead, dead, absolutely free. This man was a very strange term to their own hoop badly.
you can not blindly pursue these fundamental things that do not exist, is not it wrong it? We now have initially been a change in the world have the same, and it is an integral exist, and change them to contain the same, same with them to change. Now we look out, the
the highest human wisdom is to change the status quo. Change is the principle of changing the situation, I use the same principles to deal with changing phenomenon.
which a person must have principles, but also to adhere to, stick to what? Adhere to the truth. But you have to ground into a garden outside, you have a way to talk to people to compromise coordination, the last road a solution acceptable to all.
cylindrical inner circle who is definitely a villain villain, not the ideal goal of not making profits, good I had to drill holes, a disgrace. So the foreign party is not good, more bad cylindrical inner circle. Compromise can not give people the truth and stand to tact.
Now we get a conclusion is very simple, one sentence is, standing in the same position to change, chaos will not change.
is the Chinese people have not combined with, and it does not point, do not keep up together, so together with the bad, the good with the bad together, one apart you're gone . Do not think that people like Hu Tu, do not think this seems irresponsible and wrong. In Chinese society, as long as your position is too clear, you will not get public support. Even I obviously do not like all first say, well, there is no relationship, and then try to deny it out one by one. We will not start and said, I do not like, not.
many honest people think to himself, and always talks should be consistent fishes, but when we understand the In fact, Hu is coated surface, it is clear that heart. However, the development of modern society changes very quickly, in the end we should not change, how should it
to change how they change? This is the Chinese, the whole life have to face the problem, we propose three principles, I believe you do according to these three principles, you can meet very properly.
first one, called upon the right to not leave. Contingency is the meaning of the right, the code is often can not change the rules. How do you change, can not go beyond the rules, the words of a modern, called a principle of strain, could not do without the principle to arbitrary change. A come and go, change to no principles, and that no one be afraid of you.
a sticking principle, modifications do not know, that one can be afraid of you. So you know why we talk about Chinese people within the side of the cylindrical. This cylindrical inner side is very reasonable thing, no matter how you change the rules can not be changed out. The words of our modern, everyone can work, but can not get too far, it's that one. This is called the right to not leave after. Each change should look at it reasonably unreasonable, reasonable standards for testing, you become reasonable, we agree, you become unreasonable, we shook his head.
second principle, called the right to not harm people. All of the contingency can not harm others, do not let everyone down alternative. The vested interests are a lot of damage is not fair.
how the Chinese people have problems to resolve, not the solution.
third principle, the right to not much use.
often change the rules to mean that you have this problem, said he was immature, will often change.
instinct is that people grass is always greener.
Eighty per cent of which result in change is wrong, the world of ten eighty-nine unhappy person, hard to find a rule, do not make change.
innovative ideas and a big problem, that is, in the end you will feel the new is good, old is bad, this is the most terrible idea. Why the new is good, often better than the old new. Gets better and better wine is not it?
Innovation and change their own right, is that you made a mistake. Do you think the new must be better than the old good, this is wrong, no matter how good you think should replace the old, called the grass is always greener, grass is always greener as long as a person, this person is no hope. Sooner or later, even the wife also replaced because the old, and another new one.
year I have already said, I do not know often, to make any rash, fierce. ----
a person does not know the routine, often do not know is, you begin to random change, the final result is only one word, fierce. You get the end you did not know you have changed out with almost deprived, it is a dreadful thing. Filial piety to their parents one can change it? Friends believe can be turned on it? This can not be changed. Finally, do not get a sense of mutual trust, then there is human alienation.
change when a person sees, to master the back that often the same, get that law of nature.
human power is great, but there are limitations. When we see change, do not change inside the old roll in, but to learn to master the same thing. Now people, the poor to the poor in the always changing roll inside.
change is possible, we must remember these three principles:
First, the right to not leave after all the changes can not leave the rules.
Second, the right does not harm, all the strain, you can not harm people's interests.
Third, the right to not much use. You occasionally, we do not put it, you often use what you have to change the rules. You change the rules, change the principle of change approach. One change to the fundamental has changed out with people, is the most horrible.
understand the same is true of the I Ching interpersonal we can do in perfect balance.
from person to person dealings,
one hand, we worry about loose lips;
other hand, we do not want to violate the principles of honesty and fairness.
one hand, we tell the truth, to be honest,
the other hand we also know that restrictive expression of personal views, is also extremely important. Everything was often outspoken organizations and people around the offensive. Let's hit, was injured.
Book tells us that an easy to understand others, he can easily deal with others.
man first learn to listen, then learn to speak.
in Chinese society, in fact I think the most important thing is not the speech is obedient. Many people would not even listen to a word you say it means good intentions will not listen to bad bad. Chinese people first learn to do listen, and then a large margin speech. Now some people would not even listen to hard to talk to bad the death.
Chinese first pass, then you really do not know that he is really fake, but he is really more about a few times. Must understand this, do not the first time really, for the first time you're really bad. (This is not the same as with foreigners, foreigners are straight, we are Chinese, we have our own set, foreigners are foreigners, local custom, not the same)
should hear what you hear, you will leave traces in the head inside, you will be affected, and now the scientific proof of this matter more. Any information that mess into your head as long as it will affect you, occasionally some bad ideas, bad for you.
Confucius said, To know know it, I do not know as I do not know. Not saying: Do you know say you know, you do not know say you do not know. Not so, if it is so that there is no science in Confucius too. He really means is that this thing though, you know, but you should not say, you have to say you do not know, depends on people. He is not cheating, if he is properly speaking.
properly speaking is a balance of art, then, is a kind of wisdom.
Xinkouruyi often offend one person, one heart as a curse by others often insidious. Most of us the first real views on the heart the mouth speak the words to go through some modification to change a little.
Chinese people do not feel deceived, you deceived no conscience, but certainly do not speak the truth. If we speak properly, the mouth will talk about the words properly. Many people just do not have this training, so life is hard.
actually did not use too many words, Hua Yaojiang just right, usually to training. He said I was Mr. Kong Lao disciples, he is very proud of that great, I can ask you a question, he said can ah, he wanted to see what surprised you about the issue, said the man in the end the year with a few quarters ? He thought that you have to ask it? Four seasons, four seasons, the man said no, only three quarters of the year, (students): You made a mistake four seasons, (guests): three quarters of people agreed that the last two seasons if it is, I assure you knock three heads, if is three quarters of the three knock your head to me, a student of Confucius thought, This time I won it stable to such a kind, and this time happened to Confucius, from the inside out, very happy students, teachers, a few quarters a year?
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